SMV – Is it Real?

I was reading about a post on reddit.com/r/theredpill that talked about a study that confirmed how men tend to get more action later-on than women, and how the numbers were justified. This discussion centers around the concept of the sexual market value (SMV for short) of an individual as they go throughout their life.  Composed of looks, financials, and knowledge, the SMV for an individual depends on their natural biology, as well as active action to improve their own value.  Better descriptions and articles of SMV can be shown here:

http://therationalmale.com/2012/06/04/final-exam-navigating-the-smp/

In general, the hypothesis follows that women tend to gain their highest value as they approach their late teens though their mid twenties. This type of graph was based from well thought out personal experiences of many males, so it could be attacked for its data integrity because of the bias of the individual who created the graph.  In my personal experience, I’m finding this SMV graph to be completely true in my day to day life (23 year old male, solid job, improving my value constantly)

But I wanted to know if there was a way to put some science behind the numbers.  Which is what the Kinsey Institue has provided (Source at bottom of article). Their study covers a vast amount of information related to the sexual tendencies of individuals, but the two graphs that I focused on are below (snapshots, unmodified, bad quality, but you’ll get the idea with the graphs):

I thought that because my title at work is a Business Analyst, I could take that data and put it in a form that the average indidivual would be able to understand in a snapshot, with some justifications.  This is not a graph displaying the sexual market value (SMV) of an individual.  What it is displaying is direct results of the the average SMV of the sample size, indicative of the US population.  (Note: My apologies for the soft language, can’t have that all over my computer while at work)

These numbers were broken down and weighted based upon the average number of encounters per category (Monthly = 1, 2-3 times/week = 10, etc.) so that we could multiple the percentage by this average to get a weighted value.  Those weighted values were then averaged to produce the average number of encounters/100 individuals/month, which was then divided by 100 to create an individual output of # of Encounters/individual.  (for some reason my image quality is horrendous, so I’ll look at putting the excel file on a shared drive for people to access)

That finalized information is displayed below:

(Image = Crap, Analysis = Gold)

Those numbers were then put into a display, broken down into the three categories (Single, Partnered, Married).  The results speak for themselves, but of course being an Analyst, I put my own words beneath each of them.

Singles Information

 

Analysis: This is probably the most stark comparison and example of the hypergamy and SMV models combined.  It’s very evident from the layout of how women tend to peak with regards to fulfilling their needs before the age of 30, and then experience an immediate drop in number of encounters.  The drop-off could be due to many factors (decrease in SMV, decrease in desire for more encounters), but it shows the objective decrease in encounters.  For males, you can see how an increase in SMV would result in this data output, with the number of encounters being much higher and sustained between the 30-60 year old period compared to their female counterparts.  The differentials also show that the males in the 30-60 year old brackets are securing the women in the 18-30 year old bracket (possibly the 70+ bracket as well).

Partnered Information

Analysis: Partnered individuals are showing a hybrid between the Singe and Married graphical outputs.  In comparison to the Single data, Partnered averages track each other more closely.  Causation could be due to multiple figures, mainly because an individual is a partner with their male counterpart.  In comparison to the Married data, we are still seeing the same trend that the Single’s shows, where women peak earlier than the men, but men show their own peak in the following years.

Married Information

Analysis:  This is what I would think is expected for individuals who are married.  The numbers should track each other (in an ideal situation, the curves would match exactly).  Confirms the thought that as a marriage continues, the amount of sexual encounters, on the average, decreases.

I could do some t-testing, ANOVA, p-value, etc. if need to make some of my statements based in scientific conclusions, but I didn’t feel like it at the time I wrote this.  That would add more weight to the analysis that has been completed by my end, but it seemed a little too obvious to get into that much detail.  But if this becomes an issue I will gladly create that analysis (and bore to death half the crowd reading this).

So now we actually have some SMV data correlations that is backed by a solid study done by a 3^rd party to reduce the chance of bias.  Kinda cool when “what you think is probably true” can be confirmed through some analysis of well collected data.

I would appreciate it if someone would confirm my analysis so we can get the data displays verified.  Somewhat of a “this guy is full of shit” analysis.  I can send the excel analysis if anyone is interested, or can post it if want to look at the logic behind it.

Source of data: http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#frequency

Primal Kingdom

We are a busy society by nature, where we don’t spend the time to thoroughly analyze people and situations.  Instead, we tend let our minds make quick assumptions about a person or situation after a small amount of information has filtered through to our biases into our minds.  This isn’t exactly a bad way to go about life.  It’s how our ancestors were able to survive situations when other animals would ponder why the jaguar had such sharp teeth.

But that primal side of our mind is still around and actively involved in our day to day lives.  Just think about the times you’ve made quick judgments based on someone’s choice of clothing, car, skin cleanliness, shoes, the way they walk, the way they talk.  I’m talking about the judgment that enters into your mind as a knee jerk reaction to a situation, before your higher mind comes in to try to combat the primal response.  There’s no real way to hold back that initial swing you feel.

It doesn’t matter how judging someone who’s overweight as being an irresponsible lard is a “mean” thing to do.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a nice guy but don’t workout to maintain a fit body, because the girl doesn’t initial care compared to the hulk who can “protect” her if things go down.  Other people’s minds see things based upon their past experiences, like muscle memory, as well as the primal impact it would have on your life.  The feelings and emotions that people feel when they enter into a new situation is a result of thousands upon thousands of pieces of information that their mind is analyzing in the first few seconds of an interaction. So if you want to try to convince other people’s primal side of their minds that it’s doing the wrong thing…well best of luck.

Feels harsh?  Too bad.

Instead, I recommend that you focus on yourself. Redesign your personal vessel to reflect what you know exists in your interior so that you can begin to attract individuals who enjoy being around who you truly are.  Dress your body the way you want to be perceived.  Workout to look the way you want to look in order to attract others who are built with the same ethic.  I heard a good quote before that went something like this:

If you wish to be with a queen, you must first become a king

This directly applies to relationships, but it also applies to any aspect of your life.  So figure out what type of kingdom you wish to build, and craft your body and exterior to reflect that internal belief of what you want to become.

Self Success

As you go about your journey of personal transformation, you might find that people in your periferal and immediate surroundings will begin to notice the change, and will go two ways: accept & foster, or identify & ridicule.  Now you can think about analyzing why the people would initially fight or accept the change you want to see in yourself, but what’s more interesting to notice is after you fight for change, and are beginning to see the rewards come down your path, to see how those people who initially ridiculed you now act.  You may find that those same people who shit on your dream are now “turning around” to the idea and now want to be your partner in success.  Sure they can be inspired, but usually that inspiration is saved for the people who encouraged the growth when you took the first step.

In particular, I’m talking about business.

When you’ve thought of an idea or service that might be of use for others, when you had to find others who were willing to come on the journey with you, when you had to deal with people who said that you were going down the wrong path.  After you’ve faced the internal adversity of self doubt, who keeps telling you that you’re not special, you’re not made for this, you should take the path that people know and be fine with that.  And it’s the external adversity of financial hurdles and technical/service challenges that beat you down.

It’s once you’re able to face and weather the initial storm, and begin to see the light.  That’s when I notice that the naysayers, or as I like to term them, “predators,” begin to circle around your own success hoping for a free lunch.

Don’t give anyone a free lunch and piggyback off of your own sweat and blood.  Ever.

There’s a definite difference between those people who want to help you out cause they’re great people.  You’ll know when you see it.

What I’m talking about are those individuals and companies that tend to come in, offering what seems to be a lot of cash at the time, for 40-50% of your firm.  Sure it looks like a great idea at the time, but ask yourself if the suffering you’ve gone through is worth giving up control of what you’ve built.  If you’re willing to give up half your child to someone who says they will care for it and help it grown into your legacy.  Because no one is going to care more about your success than yourself.  Bar None, Full Stop.

So yes, if you’ve done your homework and know that capital requirements require a cash infusion, then it’s time to look for an investor to come in on your terms.

You dictate the pace in your life.  You dictate if people can walk over you once you’ve built a brand worth selling.  You’ve built the idea and beat away all the adversity to be where you’re at today.  It’s all up to you.

The Moment

That moment when you have one last rep to complete on the bench press, and your mind says “just take it easy and don’t hurt yourself.”

That moment when you’ve got just one more mile on your run when the thoughts start saying “you know you can just stop and walk, right?”

It’s the moment where you’re mind is terrified to talk in front of a group of people or speak your mind, saying “don’t do it, you might get hurt.”

Whether or not you’ve experienced one of the above examples, I’m certain you’ve experienced a similar time where your mind begins to tell you to “take it easy”, to “not push itself”, to go after the easy reward and rationalize your failures later (well maybe it doesn’t say that, but you know that in retrospect).

And I’m certain that you’ve had times of anger where you’ve told that voice to go F itself, and you then pushed through that moment in strength. Afterwards, when you look back, whether you succeeded or failed, there’s that feeling of accomplishment, as well as a feeling of being perplexed to why you didn’t do this before.

We only grow when we are willing to push beyond the barriers that we place on ourselves. The discovery phase of your life happens when you’re willing to push beyond what you’re comfortable doing, when you begin to go against the grain of society or your inner self. It’s why the entrepreneurs and “go-getters” in society seem to have an amazing amount of knowledge or seem larger than life: because they are always in the discovery phase of their limits, and pushing past them.

So become larger than yourself by discovering the self-imposed limits you have in your mind, and see if you can push beyond those limits. Whether it’s one more repetition, running one more mile, doing one more homework problem, or just trying to become more disciplined, find that limit, and show that there’s nothing holding you back. Once you’re able to repeat this process, people will slowly gravitate towards your greatness to ask you how you’ve become larger than life, how you pushed yourself to a new level.

The only thing holding you back is the same person you see in the mirror. So take a look at that bastard and go after your goals.

Primal Disconnect

We seem to need timers to keep us awake, coffee to push us through the morning, and ambien to get us through the night. When we workout, we take all the pre and post supplements that juice our cells with 500% the normal cortisol and amino acid levels we should be stabilized with. Use monitoring systems to know when our heart rate is too elevated, calorie counters to know if our salad has to much dressing and might break your ketotonic state.

Be primal for a bit, listen to when your body should wake up, without an alarm. Go out on a weekend with a sleeping bag and tent to see what happens when you sleep under the stars. Turn off your devices at home and watch how quickly you feel alone and disconnected. And that’s a good thing, because it makes you realize how afraid you are to be by yourself.

We’ve become so disconnect by placing these technological filters on our natural feedback processes, trusting pseudo science and hand picked studies to make your case seem right for the path your following.

So calm down, drink some wine, sit on your couch and have complete quiet. Your mind will let you know how comfortable you are with yourself.

Sound Familiar?

Go to school, get good grades, miss hanging with friends, work on science fair, win at science fair, back to school, do sports for college applications, become an officer to look like ‘leadership material,’ more tests, more homework assignments, less sleep. Time for college applications, stress about how people think you’re doing, maintain face with family, get into college, but no time
to wait. Pre class work, club involvement for a job, do sports to look like leadership material for companies, homework, all nighters, team projects, blackout at a party cause it’s ‘fun’.

Senior year, holy shit, what happened, baggy eyes, job interviews, resume bolstering, ‘of course I want to work here overtime for low pay to learn your ways.’ Get a job, that first paycheck looks great, oh wait…taxes, loans, rent, food, 401k, rinse and repeat for 40 years. One day you get called in and are given the golden watch and told you made it…

Familiar story…and it scares me to the core, which is why I’m spending every waking breath going after financial freedom.

You go after your own journey, don’t let the above story become yours.

Clearing out the Cobwebs

Developing a sense of purpose in the work you do creates an underlying current of drive and emotion for you to tap into when things get tough, as well as handle the hard choices in life.

If you don’t take the time to know why you are going about a certain path in life, you’re susceptible to having the current of other people and situations dictate where you end up. It’s then, when you’re at the destination determined by situations, where you look back and wish you had swam away from the current and onto shore, where you would have begun to chart your own path (long analogy, but it makes things clear). Either that, or you blame the circumstances for where you ended up.

Now I’m not saying that it’s completely your fault for being where you’re at. You might be completely justified in pointing the finger at a person or event that debilitated your plan, but it doesn’t change your current situation. So let all the blame out, write down how angry or annoyed at how you felt betrayed or whatever you experienced.

Once you write down those external barriers, you’ll have a better idea of how to approach the situation in the future and get back on track to your aspirations.

It’s like clearing n cleaning out your house, except your mind is what we’re taking the Lysol to task with. In your home, when things get cluttered and disheveled, you tend to find your own stress levels raised for no apparent reason. Same thing with your mind. If you don’t clear out the negative blaming mentality, you’ll find it hard to stay on track and focus on the positive.

Get it on paper, let it all out, and then throw it in the waste basket where it belongs.

Fulfillment of Writing

Why do I think everyone should write everyday?

It empties the mind onto paper and lets you clear your thoughts as you go to bed.

It allows you to look back on the time you spent writing to see the evolution of your thoughts and identify common threads of your consciousness. It’s those common threads that you should look at, because those threads are what makeup your composure as you go about your day.

For me, I’ve noticed a lot of passive aggressive anger towards the world, as well as justification for my opinions. It shows me my fear of being judged for what I say or think. I would couch my controversial opinion with self deprecating humor or rationalization.

Now, I’m getting better. I rationalize less, I defend my opinions more often, both on the paper and in my interactions. I’m learning to listen to people’s criticism, and take it as a positive step in the right direction. And I’m really beginning to believe in my own success.

So first, start writing for yourself in a journal. It’ll be embarrassing for sure. Your ideas will seem crude and stupid. You’ll be unwilling to read your own work at times.

But if you don’t start now, you won’t develop a sense of what you believe and think, and will continue to wander aimlessly with a loose set of values that you let fall at the first sight of adversity and challenge.

Just write.

Accountability to Succeed

Working for a corporation, as negative as it might be in the long run, can teach you a lot about project management, and how the largest part for achieving program success comes down to ensuring there’s an accountability system. For the work that I do, it’s a combination of identifying who will be responsible for maintaining the system (an individual or team) and providing them with the tools and resources to be able to track the success of the program/change/update.

Now although the corporate environment is something I’m looking to leave as soon as financially possible, there’s a lot to be gleamed from this accountability system and applying it to personal situations.  How many times have you heard someone say they ‘want to lose weight,’ only to give up a few weeks into the attempt, sometimes not even remembering the promise they told to themselves and others. Just look back to the new years resolutions people have, including yourself, and think about how many actually stick to their promise.

A large part of why we fail to go after these long term goals comes down to establishing an accountability system. You need to provide yourself the tools and equipment necessary to keep yourself on track, so you can look back and see the progress that’s being made, and be objective with how things are progressing. For working out, make yourself an excel chart plotting the incremental increases in lift weights and milestones you plan on achieving.  Put that chart on your front door and check off each day as you make progress.  Afraid that people will think you’re one of those weirdos who puts of motivational posters everywhere?  That might be true, but that’s also telling yourself that other people’s short sighted opinions matter more to you than your dreams of becoming fit.  It’s your call.

For losing weight, have weight loss goals written down that are achievable for your situation, and post it on the fridge. Beneath those milestones, have a list of the food items you plan on purchasing, and a daily check off area to show if you followed the plan, or deviated.

It sounds simple, right?  And it is simple.  But most individuals just say their goals to themselves, or talk about it with their friends, and never take the simple step of figuring out the details of how to get there.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I’ll spend the first four sharpening the axe. – Abraham Lincoln

With any plan that you make, whether it be for business or personal endeavors, you should spend a large portion of you time understanding how you intend to track the progress that is being made. And don’t kid yourself when you say your accountability system is in your head. You’re going to be too busy executing on your mission to also have the time to objective perceive the progress you’ve made.

Yes, write down your dreams, that’s a big first step. But after you’ve figured out what you want, spend time figuring out exactly how you’ll know you’ve achieved your objectives n dreams.

Making Positive Affirmations Work

I know I know, the title already breeds of complete bullshit. ‘Visualize and Materialize! Think of having it and It Will Come! Feelingly lonely? just imagine the girl you want an she will appear!’

You can tell when the person telling to those things feels slightly odd, in a non normal way. Where you start to wonder what they actually think beneath all the positivity they profuse (they being the anyone selling you their book, session, religion, ect.)
I’m not trying to say that or sell you that I’m right. I’m actually the one to have believed in the idea of The Secret (look it up if you haven’t heard of it) when I was back in high school. Desperate nerds who can’t get girls will tend to believe in a lot of ideas to try to escape the solitude of being alone.

But what I do think is that your mentality and approach of how you speak to yourself, when your alone or in your head, greatly impacts the outcome of circumstances and how you perceive your current situation. You could say half full, half empty type argument.

I’m venturing into this idea because of a recent book I’ve been reading and applying to my own life. The back story is that I started to become pretty depressed about my situation: overwhelmed at work, leveraged and invested in a business concept that I’m now worried will fail, alone, sad…you get the picture. I was browsing Reddit in the suicide/depression section, wallowing in my own self made pity party, when I stumbled across the book recommendation called ‘what to say when you talk to yourself.’ You’ll have to read it to get the full benefit, but the idea is that we’ve been conditioned since birth to have a negative inner voice when we approach any situation in our life. How our subconscious is always at work when we go about our day. How our internal programming is corrupted from our environment, and needs a reboot.

And it made a lot of sense to me. When I would wakeup, instead of focusing on the day and how I’ll go about achieving my objectives, I would worry about the problems that would show up along the way. I would look at myself in the mirror and see the ugly scars from the years of acne I had I college, instead of appreciate the muscle mass I’ve packed on and how I was down to the low teens in body fat percentages.

It sounds like stupid shit, but to me I was so negative internally that it was ‘manifesting’ itself in my external surroundings.

The approach to change from the book taught me that your conscious mind, the part you argue with in your head, is what your subconscious continues to listen to and repeat in your life. And that to change it, your mind literally needs to hear the change you want in your life.

So the book has positive practices to recite in the morning that makes me laugh cause it seems so unbelievable, but somehow I feel better at the end of saying it. Feels dumb, but you have to try it.

All in all, I’m trying to convey that although the concept of positive self talk and affirmations brings about the baggage of the motivational speaker who’s trying to jack your money, there is actually some truth when it comes to speaking to yourself in a positive tone, and generating positive results over time (or at least lessen the mental impact of the negative).

Think about your own self talk you have in your head, and think if you need a new ‘mental software package’ to make you become the person you dream of becoming.