Where Anger Leads

Not much to say, other than to check this link out. Always appreciate good work from other individuals.

M3

I hear this quite a lot:

“There is so much anger in the sphere. This anger works against you and just makes you look like a bunch of angry bitter misogynists who hate women.”

I won’t deny there are many angry men in the sphere.

As i mentioned to Tarnished Sophia in my previous post here, a majority of the anger in the sphere comes from men who are freshly introduced into the sphere on what could arguably be the worst day of their life. The day their marriage ends, the day they get frivorced, the day they get cheated on by their soul mate, the day their kids are taken from them, the day they end up going to jail for a false rape, or not being able to keep up with outrageous sums of child support.

And they stay angry for a while, as everything they grew…

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Clearing out the Cobwebs

Developing a sense of purpose in the work you do creates an underlying current of drive and emotion for you to tap into when things get tough, as well as handle the hard choices in life.

If you don’t take the time to know why you are going about a certain path in life, you’re susceptible to having the current of other people and situations dictate where you end up. It’s then, when you’re at the destination determined by situations, where you look back and wish you had swam away from the current and onto shore, where you would have begun to chart your own path (long analogy, but it makes things clear). Either that, or you blame the circumstances for where you ended up.

Now I’m not saying that it’s completely your fault for being where you’re at. You might be completely justified in pointing the finger at a person or event that debilitated your plan, but it doesn’t change your current situation. So let all the blame out, write down how angry or annoyed at how you felt betrayed or whatever you experienced.

Once you write down those external barriers, you’ll have a better idea of how to approach the situation in the future and get back on track to your aspirations.

It’s like clearing n cleaning out your house, except your mind is what we’re taking the Lysol to task with. In your home, when things get cluttered and disheveled, you tend to find your own stress levels raised for no apparent reason. Same thing with your mind. If you don’t clear out the negative blaming mentality, you’ll find it hard to stay on track and focus on the positive.

Get it on paper, let it all out, and then throw it in the waste basket where it belongs.

Take Action

You’re probably reading this on the computer, or tablet, or phone, or something, just whatever.

I’ve been in the same place you might be at right now, again and again, when you’re on reddit.com/r/getmotivated, or some sort of website that tells you that you’re worth more than you think, and you sit there and nod your head. But what do you actually do from that moment, do you agree and then click next, hoping for another good photo to make you feel better about the situation that you’re in, hoping that someday it’ll cause some serious amount of money, or cute girl, or sexy as fuck guy, to land in your lap?

I know that feeling. And I’ve lived it. Day after day, month after month, of debilitating sitting-ness (I termed that). Where you tell yourself that in the next five minutes, you’ll get to that paper, or get to cleaning that room, or calling up those friends, or hitting up the gym, or shaving your face and getting a better sense of who you are.

And then you start to get angry, angry at the motivational pictures, second guessing the motives of those who wrote them. I know that it turns from motivation to thinking that the person who wrote down the quote was actually just a failed individual who wanted their own validation through an upvote, or positive comment, or whatever the fuck they want to justify their own abject failure in their life. And you know what, maybe that’s true for some of them. Maybe that’s true for a lot of them.

But…fuck you. Fuck you for being a conceited piece of shit who projected your own emotional failures on someone who actually tried to make something. Fuck you for being angry at people who just wanted to push you in the right direction. Fuck you for not taking responsibility of your own path in life. And you know what, fuck you for not caring enough about yourself for taking the reins of your own life and becoming something, ANYTHING, that you can be proud of.

I don’t care if it’s the accomplishment of eating healthy for one meal, or two, or for a whole day, then week. I don’t exactly give a fuck if it’s even just taking a shower once a day and preparing yourself so you actually have a chance at looking in the mirror and not feeling the need to yell at the soul that’s staring back at you, with the dreary eyes and failed mind. Just shut down your pitiful little excuse generator in your head, and tell it to go to hell, because that’s where you’re all going to go if you don’t. I’m not talking the brimstone and fire type of hell. I’m talking about the hell when you wakeup a couple years down the road, and finally, due to the impending visit from death, have to start eating right, or have to start taking drugs because you don’t have enough confidence in yourself to get started and making the right decisions.

And sure, maybe you want to have the same story that many successful people have, reaching rock bottom and then building yourself from your own ashes. But realize that for the few that made it from rock bottom, were hundreds who told themselves the same thing…only to have died without even a notice from society.
Take the calculated risks necessary to get to where you want to get, because you’ll be dead soon enough. Make it a journey your children will remember and be inspired from. Take the moment to shut off the TV and sit in silence and think about where you want to be, and visualize the path there.

But whatever you do, stop clicking next on the screen for the best motivation, because you’re not going to find it. It’s in you. Take a second and realize that all the pictures here and songs and quotes are all just trying to kick start that fire inside of you. Be the one who kindles it to a flame, and torch what’s necessary to make it to the end.

College To Now

I’m 23 now. I’ll start my timeline after high school graduation.

Many times when you hear about college, the stories that get passed around in the first two years tend to focus on the crazy parties, young drinking escapades, experimenting, and barely passing those first couple introductory classes.

My story for those first three years was a little bleaker. I certainly had fun times with roommates and video games, working out early in the morning before class and the rare instances of parties where I didn’t feel it was a stupid game of cat and mouse with the girls.

But outside of those instances, I would say depression and disappointment took the main stage in my life. I felt girls were putting up an image during class of being the “informed, enlightened college student,” while I’d see that same girl go out on the weekends and go hog wild with a man (or multiple men). The rationalizations I’d hear in team meetings the following Monday made me think they were either mentally incompetent, or just didn’t understand how illogically they really sounded.

With the majority of guys in college, I found myself in a hard spot. Most would focus on the girls, or on how they achieved something better than most (test grade, workout numbers, beers consumed, drugs sold, etc.), while it was obvious there were gaping holes in their regimen on how they approached life.

I felt surrounded by people who couldn’t come to terms with their own inner darkness and understand what they really want to achieve in life. Instead they would avoid addressing their inner demons by taking short bursts of dopamine into another insecure counterpart who either willingly, or unknowingly, is avoiding their own issues.

It made me feel suicidal, crazy, lost.

Suicidal because I thought that I was programmed wrong from birth and was not a functioning adult in society. A glitch in the code that needed to be reformatted.

Crazy because I had so many pressures and expectations, yet I couldn’t see the point if there was

Lost was what scared me the most, more than the desire to end things and hit “restart” (it sounds dumb looking at it in retrospect). Lost is what makes you sit paralyzed at your desk at work as time clicks away. Lost is what made me buy a superbike in college and nearly kill myself on multiple occasions flying between cars. Lost can destroy your mind if you let it.

But from this dark feeling of loneliness is where I began to rebuild my thoughts. And it’s where I’m at now.

There’s no time for a man on a hero’s journey to placate on any level to some girl’s insecurities, especially someone who doesn’t understand their own subconscious. There’s always time to eject one and replace it with another (spinning plate theory).

If you are living to your principles and have tempered your mind in failure/experiences/successes, you’ll find that doors begin to open where there were only walls. These days, the girls I make time for do not try to play games, or ask dumb questions. On the off chance that they do, it feels like they don’t even need a response from me to know they’re stepping out of line.

If you think of yourself as the hero, and do your best everyday to reach and exceed your potential, the girl questions/insecurities/shit-tests/anything tends to fuck off.