Where Anger Leads

Not much to say, other than to check this link out. Always appreciate good work from other individuals.

M3

I hear this quite a lot:

“There is so much anger in the sphere. This anger works against you and just makes you look like a bunch of angry bitter misogynists who hate women.”

I won’t deny there are many angry men in the sphere.

As i mentioned to Tarnished Sophia in my previous post here, a majority of the anger in the sphere comes from men who are freshly introduced into the sphere on what could arguably be the worst day of their life. The day their marriage ends, the day they get frivorced, the day they get cheated on by their soul mate, the day their kids are taken from them, the day they end up going to jail for a false rape, or not being able to keep up with outrageous sums of child support.

And they stay angry for a while, as everything they grew…

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The Moment

That moment when you have one last rep to complete on the bench press, and your mind says “just take it easy and don’t hurt yourself.”

That moment when you’ve got just one more mile on your run when the thoughts start saying “you know you can just stop and walk, right?”

It’s the moment where you’re mind is terrified to talk in front of a group of people or speak your mind, saying “don’t do it, you might get hurt.”

Whether or not you’ve experienced one of the above examples, I’m certain you’ve experienced a similar time where your mind begins to tell you to “take it easy”, to “not push itself”, to go after the easy reward and rationalize your failures later (well maybe it doesn’t say that, but you know that in retrospect).

And I’m certain that you’ve had times of anger where you’ve told that voice to go F itself, and you then pushed through that moment in strength. Afterwards, when you look back, whether you succeeded or failed, there’s that feeling of accomplishment, as well as a feeling of being perplexed to why you didn’t do this before.

We only grow when we are willing to push beyond the barriers that we place on ourselves. The discovery phase of your life happens when you’re willing to push beyond what you’re comfortable doing, when you begin to go against the grain of society or your inner self. It’s why the entrepreneurs and “go-getters” in society seem to have an amazing amount of knowledge or seem larger than life: because they are always in the discovery phase of their limits, and pushing past them.

So become larger than yourself by discovering the self-imposed limits you have in your mind, and see if you can push beyond those limits. Whether it’s one more repetition, running one more mile, doing one more homework problem, or just trying to become more disciplined, find that limit, and show that there’s nothing holding you back. Once you’re able to repeat this process, people will slowly gravitate towards your greatness to ask you how you’ve become larger than life, how you pushed yourself to a new level.

The only thing holding you back is the same person you see in the mirror. So take a look at that bastard and go after your goals.

The Fear Of Judgement

Ever change what you’re going to say or do because you know others will be judging what comes out of your mind? It’s a recent battle for myself after beginning this blog, related to the posts I’ve made and opinions I’m beginning to develop.
When I think that others are listening to my voice through my writings, I begin to subconsciously change how I write to be more sensitive to try to appease the “audience”. Even if no one is listening to what I write or say, the fear that you will be judged based upon your work begins to dissuade you from showing who you really are.
This happens for me because when I put out my thoughts and opinions, I’m putting my ego on the line. People can make the snap judgment and jab at who I am, and it can hurt! Although it’s not the same as a basketball game where it’s a physical battle, the same type of lump in the throat feeling develops when I begin to write a paragraph that’s crap, or when I’m about to hit the publish button.
The fear of being judged occurs when you know that your work sucks compared to how you see yourself in your mind. Personally, I know that I have thoughts and theories in my mind that make great sense and bring perspective to the world, but when I put it down on paper, it sounds like a 12 year old with verbal diarrhea trying to convince you that I’m right. The feeling of validation when someone likes a post, or comments on my blog, or sends me a validating text, encourages the weak side of my mind to continue down the same type of atmosphere. I want to experience the same pleasure, so I tend to do the same action.
This type of continual cause-effect relationship has been reflected in studies with chimps. In recent years, researchers completed some studies on the impact of stimulating the pleasure receptors by electrical impulse. They hooked up electrodes to the chimp’s reward side of the mind, and then left a button in their cage that would trigger the electronic impulse that creates pleasure in their mind. The chimp, previously normal n stable, would now sit by the button and push it continually until it passed out or died from starvation. Instead of continuing its normal life and achieving its daily goals, the pleasure of validation (done here by electrical impulse) overrides the internal drive to go after what you want to achieve.
I feel it’s the same type of issue when you write with the goal of hoping other people will give you that validation. The personal development by writing for myself is being replaced by a cat-and-mouse game where I plot what people would want to hear, or would be less offended, and execute on that thought.
So here’s my opinion: You shouldn’t placate your fear of being judged. You shouldn’t sit around and write, then delete what you wrote because the idea might get you labeled as a nut/psycho/feminists/misogynist. The label means that you actual matter to the world. That people actually care about your opinion (even if it’s negative flack). It’s a societal feedback loop to teach you about your own ego and own opinions. Sure you might be wrong, but over time you can change your thoughts based on your life experiences and what you learn from others.
With that said, writing should be done in a private setting, for yourself. Only after you begin to coalesce an opinion on paper, when the idea is flushed out, is when you should begin to think about the posting and audience. Because if you only think about the end goal of showing your thoughts to others, you’ll miss out on the personal development you receive from the process of figuring out what’s actually going on in your mind.
Stand for something, say something you actually think, and take the flack that other people will bring with open eyes and ears. You’re being judged on all levels, internally and externally. So if you want to do something, but decided to not follow through because of the fear of being judged by others, you’re going to internally judge yourself as a weak individual. No matter what you decide to do, judgment is being made (not necessarily a bad thing). Do your best in this life by developing thoughts and sharing those thoughts with others, because you never know what value you can bring to others.  Who knows, you might just help someone on their own journey, save their life, or be the final push they need to go after what they want to achieve in life.